The Grass is Greener...

After Sheryl and I got married, I mourned my autonomy for years, wishing I could “be free” again. When I was still getting only snail mail, friends were getting emails, and I wanted to be electronically connected. As a bookworm, I’ve always been jealous of how many movies other people watch. After an enjoyable two week period in the desert in ’95, I’ve managed to convince myself that it would be great to live in the desert. After years of eating mediocre chow at numerous nameless chowhalls, I’ve longed for sumptuous fare and a plethora of dining options. I’ve occasionally struggled with my motivation for attending worship, figuring that enjoying leisure for my own sake is probably better than doing anything for God out of duty or false motivation.

Well, now I’ve got a lot of personal freedom (not a lot of professional freedom, but then, I never have had that…), and all I want is Sheryl back in my life. Now my friends and I are getting lots of emails, but we long for snail mail. There are so many media devices over here that I’m longing for a good book to escape from it all. After only a week in the desert, I’d settle for Southern California semi-desert in a heartbeat. I’d gladly go back to mediocre chow so my application of personal discipline (I don’t have much) would not be so sorely and frequently challenged. And right now, I really miss the Community of folks who were a significant part of and participant with me in my worship experience

Maybe instead of “The grass is always greener,” this could be titled, “Be careful what you wish for.”

Semper Fi, Jon G.

Pancho Villa

I have always felt that the USMC so-called eight point cover (part of the garrison wear of the Marine Corps Pattern Digital Desert Combat Utility Uniform, or MARPAT DDCU) was a fairly minimal garment as far as head gear went, somewhat better than a beret (as it actually did shield the eyes from the sun), but somewhat less effective than the so-called “boonie” wide brimmed cloth floppy hat. Hence, when I was informed that wear of the boonie hat was authorized in the field (where I am), at the earliest opportunity I packed my eight points and pulled out the boonie. In addition, the boonie comes with a chin strap with a plastic toggle cinch on it, not only great for keeping the hat on your head in windy conditions, but, I figured, great for when I entered a building. In the military, when you enter a building, one’s cover is removed—and the problem with the boonie over the eight point is that it is bulkier and harder to stuff in one’s pocket. So, with that handy dandy chin strap, I would just loosen the cinch all the way, and push the hat back off my head, where it would hang off my neck on my back. No need to stuff it in a pocket, but nicely removed for while in doors.

Well, I did not reckon on tradition and uniformity working against utility in this case, but it did. After a few days of glorying in the built-in convenience and superb utility of the boonie cover’s many features, I was approached by a senior officer in my chain of command. He very politely informed me that persons un-named (but implied they were undoubtedly senior in rank to either him or myself) had observed my Pancho Villa-like treatment of my boonie cover during periods when it was not on top of my head, and tactfully suggested I switch back to an eight point cover should I find myself resenting the continual stuffing of the boonie into my cargo pocket when duty or leisure required me to convey myself into a building. The same day, some Marines had noticed me employing my chin strap to keep the boonie on my head, and this actually became the topic of conversation—it seems that every other Marine tucks the chin strap into the cover or simply cuts it off prior to donning the said headgear.

I still elect to wear my boonie cover, as it is such a superlative item of protective headgear over the eight point cover. It was fairly distressing to me, though, to physically cut off the chin strap so I would not be tempted to employ it for its designed purpose. Me, a Marine of 24 years, disobeying one of the standing 11 General Orders (willful damage or destruction to government property) for the sake of tradition and uniformity. Sometimes, I guess, there is just nothing left to say.

Semper Fi, Jon G.

Control & Faith

I was told (am still working on learning) a few things in Boot Camp: Marines do not get to choose the mission they’re assigned, where the mission will be conducted, or who they’ll execute the mission with. These things are generally applicable to all military and support personnel engaged in GWOT. Oh, I made choices all right, a series of choices: enlist, re-enlist, etc. It takes a lot of trust, apparently, to be a participant in life, and the intersection of the risk and the trust is dependant on the object of trust: God, country, Corps, unit, family, friends, wealth, status, self (courage, honor, strength, integrity, shrewdness, etc.) luck, chance, or a combination of some or all of the above.

My life as a Marine is more than a point on a graph where the x and y axis meet. The intersection between trust and risk determines the perceived significance/meaning or safety/control. It could be argued that at three points on the graph, we have no control at all—birth, taxes, and death. During other periods of life, we have little or limited control---infancy/childhood, sickness/infirmity, old age. I believe that God provides control in my life in both the former and latter, and I’d like to transfer trust and risk to Him—even (particularly) at times when I have choice. “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” Realizing I have little or no control, it makes sense to continue to acknowledge and put my trust in The One who does.

Semper Fi, Jon G.

Modernization

Two months ago, our family had simple land lines, snail mail, and email; no laptops, no PDAs, no cell phones, no web pages—basically, we were still in the late 80’s, techno-wise. And here we are today, our family has a cell phone, I use a laptop at work, we can send snail mail via the internet using an electronic message system, and we have two blogs in the family. Yes, TWO blogs. Sheryl has started her own blog at http://2006marinewife.blogspot.com/. She started her blog to enable passing SWAG (related to her, not me) simultaneously to all of you who want to know how she is doing. She really wants to keep all of you informed, but is also very busy, and cannot take the time to write a plethora of emails to all of you. Please feel free to go to her blog, save it as one of your favorite links, and consider yourself connected to the most important, most wonderful, most capable, most supportive Marine wife (who is also a very independent and secure person in her own right, and doesn’t’ feel the need to capitalize on my uniform for the furtherance of personal position or status, assuming someone or some group might perceive it as such).

I’ve been raving about the chow here, and I thought I’d tell you all what our menu was this evening: veal parmesan or chicken cordon bleu, with steamed rice, buttered mashed potatoes (with two gravy options), and steamed cauliflower. Minestrone soup or vegetable rice were the soup of the day options, with a full salad bar, three different types of potato salad, 12 different soda selections, 3 separate milk selections, 8 different juice selections, decaf or regular coffee, 3 types of cookie, pecan pie, cherry cheesecake, jello and fruit cocktail, pears, or peaches. If none of that grabbed you, there was a fast food line that served chili macaroni, hot dogs, hamburgers, chili dogs, 3 different kinds of chips, potato fries, or a pizza line that serves two separate varieties of personal pizza. No, it’s not like being at home, but it does tend to make the separation more palatable. I only ran three miles today, I think I’ll have to step up the distance….

Semper Fi, Jon G.

Yo, Dad's...

I have been extremely blessed to have been “at home” for the first six years of Joshua’s life. This next year will be tough on me, not being able to be there for the many thousands of individual experiences that Joshua will have in my absence. The year will also be tough on Joshua, not having his Dad around to interact and play with him, devote weekends to camping with him, referee his AYSO soccer games and practice soccer with him at the park, go hiking with him, play “rough” with him, and whatever else we might have done. Sheryl is beyond great as a mom, but even she (superwoman though she is) cannot fill a Dad’s shoes.

This is where you come in, Dads. If you know Sheryl and Joshua, if you have kids of your own, and you’re planning an activity in which you would be willing to include just one more (like fishing, camping, hiking, a day at the park, anything—even “run-of-the-mill activities—to include just hanging out), please give Sheryl a call and ask if Joshua could be your “guest son” for a short time. Sheryl’s not afraid to be proactive and ask if Joshua can tag along, but she can’t see your calendar, and doesn’t know when to call.

Thanks in advance, guys—and really, Joshua is a great kid, the best in the world (OK, I know I’m biased). And I know it will make a difference as Joshua develops into a man himself (he’s only six, I can’t believe I just wrote that).

Semper Fi, Jon G.

Tougher on Her

I want to thank everyone for all the support that has been showered on me, the love and prayers. I arrived at my duty station last night, have begun the snapping in process, and I am substantially impressed, overall, with the operational and living environment that will be my home for a year. Though I miss Sheryl and Joshua more than I can say, I've found that due to the new surroundings, the "adventure" and unknowns of the trip here, all the new personnel that I am meeting and will be working with, and the demanding nature of fitting into a new team at work--my loss re: Sheryl and Joshua is not constantly in the forefront of my brain housing group.
Not so Sheryl and Joshua. There is now a void in their lives that I used to fill. I am not around the house, I cannot physically interact with them, I am no longer a part of their daily routine (like I have been for Joshua's whole life and in the fourteen years that Sheryl and I have been married). I know you all are surrounding her with your love, prayers, and encouragement--thanks. Please, for my sake, make her the focus of your concern--for every time you inqire about me, ask her twice about her and Joshua, and every time you pray for me, pray twice for her and Joshua. She is right there, a little more at hand for those in her community, and I know she would apreciate it.

Semper Fi, Jon G.

Splendor & Chow

I'm currently staying in transient billeting awaiting transportation for the final leg of my trip to my duty station. Word is this will be a 30+ hour layover, 2/3rds of which has already slipped by. The stark, rugged beauty of this land is most spectacular at sunset, closely seconded by sinrises. The panoramic vista of the star-laden night sky is beyond impressive. Even the current half-moon sheds almost enough light to read Dr. Suess' "Oh, The Places You'll Go"(not that I had enough room in my seabag for that classic).

The living quarters for transients is, I'm sure, sub-standard by Air Force regulations, but considerably better than I experienced in the field Stateside or at various other postings overseas. Most significant is the outstanding quality and plentiful provision of chow. History is replete with military experiences that tie morale to sustenance, and my initial conviction is that this has been nowhere more true than here. Whatever the shortcomings and no matter the over-runs, the food provision contract is, in more ways than one, giving the taxpayers their money's worth. For this, United States, I say, "Thank You."

Semper Fi, Jon G.

11 Zones

11 time zones from where I started, 19 1/2 hours total elapsed time from wheels up to wheels down. 3 separate legs (4 hrs, 4 1/2 hrs, and 5 1/2 hrs) with average down time between flights 2 hours. I've got two relatively short hops to make before I get to my final destination, right now SWAG says both legs are by air, one at night. I'm not fully functional in the new time zone, but getting there. The food has been truly outstanding, both on the air and on the ground at every stop, and accomodations, support and other arrangements have been better than expected all the way along. This being the military, there has been plenty of "hurry up and wait" at beginning (as Sheryl reported), and plenty of SWAG (most of it bum scoop) since getting here, but it is amazing how much can be accomplished with so many people if there is a good plan, it is adequately communicated, and people are willing to be patient.

Within a 1/2 hour of wheels down, I was feeling an overwhelming sense of sadness. Most keenly felt was the ache of my recent farewell to Sheryl and Joshua, and the anticipation of containing that sadness continually for the next twelve months. Added to this was: sadness for the similar experiences of the many men and women with me on this mission; sadness for the people of this land who will not, cannot, or are denied the opportunity to achieve Peace; sadness for a vast and still magnificent land deprived of so much of its diversity, majesty and bounty; and sadness for the blood, sweat, tears, anguish, marginalization, disenfrachisement and lack of tolerance that will doubtless continue to affect this land and its people in the grasping for a different future than the path of least resistance.

I also have Hope. I thank God for that, for His Grace that gives us the opportunity to serve Him and each other to vanquish entropy, restore meaning, and bring dignity to otherwise meaningless human endeavor.

Semper Fi, Jon G.

No news

I was hoping for a call today but as I get ready for bed, I haven't heard from Jon. So I thought I'd post a couple pictures that speak for themselves.

Sheryl

Well, he's off! This is Sheryl reporting for Jon. We spent 3 1/2 hours getting Jon and the other Marines off on the buses this afternoon. This evening Jon was able to call to confirm that they made it to the airbase where they expect to fly out tonight. He hopes to call me from various stops along the way, if he can, so I'll try to keep you posted. He wants a posting on the blog every day.

Joshua and I are doing as well as can be expected. We spent the afternoon geocaching with my sister (if you don't know what that is, check out http://www.geocaching.com). This evening and tomorrow we'll be with my brother's family in North San Diego. It is nice to be in a home with lots of activity this evening -- 4 kids keep everything lively. They surprised me with a gift of a trip to a spa to get my nails done tomorrow morning. How fun. Joshua is enjoying his cousins and we'll soon be playing games and eating ice cream sundaes.

We'll be back at San Clemente Presbyterian on Sunday and then we'll start learning what life without Jon at home will be like. Thank you for your prayers and encouragement. They are appreciated.

Sheryl for the Jarhed :)

1st Loose Tooth

My last full day with Sheryl and Joshua was spent primarily at the San Diego Wild Animal Park. Joshua went to school, I volunteered in his classroom, and then we pulled him after first period. We had a total blast, saw a HUGE variety of animals, had dinner at the Claim Jumper, and finished up with "The Apple Dumpling Gang." This morning, Joshua showed me a loose tooth (left of center on the bottom), and following dinner tonight--out it came. His first baby tooth, now an item for the tooth fairy to consider. I'm so glad I got to be a part of it. Joshua thinks it is simply "too gross," the bloody tooth, the unfamiliar gap, etc., but there you have it--what seems a milestone to one person may not seem a milestone to another.

Semper Fi, Jon G.

Trashed Starbucks Card

I met this morning with some men from our church who had been with me in a small group that convened weekly at the local Starbucks.  I still had a Starbucks card from those days, though it only had enough left on it to pay for about a third of a medium mocha.  The coffee card was unceremoniously trashed after more than two years in my wallet, and it seemed more than coincidental and somewhat symbolic that my card would run out on the same day as my last meeting with these men that I count as significant and meaningful.

Of course, let me not push this analogy too far, lest these men consider themselves no more valuable to me than a guarnteed good cup of coffee.  I'm sure I'll wish, at times, for some fru-fru coffee--but there's no comparing that to the yearning of my heart for Fellowship.  Thanks, guys, for a haven in which I could risk exposure.

 

Semper Fi, Jon G.

BLUF

This is another acronym: Bottom Line Up Front.  Those of you who know me are aware that I'm not too good at this one.  I tend to pontificate, beat around the bush, and over explain.  Put simply, I am not succinct.  I tend to believe that anything worth saying is worth communicating completely--and this usually takes (me) more than one sentence.

Yesterday, our mobile home park owners sent us a BLUF--we have two weeks to re-paint the trim and paint the awning supports on our home (more properly referrred to as a "coach," right Joe & Helen?), or they will charge us to contract the job to someone else.  Their demands felt a little invasive, and my first reaction was a little defensive.  I was able to negotiate a month's reprieve, but perhaps it was more of a bluff--since I'd like to force them to deal with it, since I cannot.  I believe this could be termed impulsive, poor risk management.

 

Semper Fi, Jon G.

Mournful Bye

It has always puzzled me why parting from friends and those whom one loves is called a "good" bye.  It certainly has never seemed good to me.  Of course, "good" is a generic, generally positive word that my 5th grade teacher instructed me NEVER to use in written English (along with the words "nice" and "a lot"), though the word can be used to modify something generally bad (such as, a "good" skid, a "good" smack, a "good" burp, or a "good" earthquake).  There has never been, for me, a sweetness to the sorrow of a parting, my apologies to Shakespeare.  

 

As the last week (before I leave for a year) winds down, and I find myself continually noting the things that I am doing for the last time, the people that I am seeing for the last time, and the places that I am going for the last time, before I leave--I can postively say there is little that seems "good" about it.  Certainly I can acknowledge the "good," the result of decisions Sheryl and I have made, the result of policies our country is implementing, the result of orders the military has passed down as a result of those policies, all from a macro sense.  However, at the micro level, personally, change is difficult to incorporate, and carries with it a series of stresses unique and unignorable.

 

Semper Fi, Jon G.

Close Reach

When a wind-powered vessel sails abeam of the wind, it's called a "reach". The nearer the point of sail to the direction from which the wind is coming, the "closer" the reach--and the greater the heel. Yesterday was one of the most fun days I have had in years--Sheryl and I were invited sailing by good friends Steve & Claire. They had been planning this for weeks, but totally surprised me. Wow. To be on a 28' sloop on a mild sea on a close reach with sumptious provisions among people you love--maybe that's what Heaven will be like. Claire even said, at one point, "It's all about you, Jon!" which of course it's not, but it was very BOUNTIFUL of her to say so.
It is, additionally, extremely reassuring to know that Sheryl and Joshua will be within close reach of many friends like Steve and Claire while I'm gone. Thanks a million, Guys.

Semper Fi, Jon G. Moran

Early Anniversary

Last night Sheryl and I celebrated our Fourteenth Anniversary about four months early (our anniversary is actually on June 13th). We drove down a winding road on a balmy evening to an Italian restaurant called "Ti Amo" (which is pretty appropriate for the occasion). The food was truly delightful (I had the swordfish and Sheryl had the pork ribs), and of course, the company divine.

We'll spend today and also tomorrow morning together (while Joshua is at his Grandparent's house, where he spent last night, and where he'll stay tonight). Thank you, Joe & Helen, for this wonderful gift of being together as a couple before the deployment.

Semper Fi, Jon G.

SWAG

The US DoD is known for acronyms, some of them useful, but admittedly there are simply just too many of them. Additionally, military personnel use a slang word (or multiple slang words) which mean something else, and these are often turned into acronyms, combinations of words, etc. An example would be the many ways Marines refer to information related to their projected (often officially confirmed, which confirmation is generally not credible) deployment date. This information may be referred to as: "the word," "scuttlebutt" (which also means "drinking fountain," for an associated reason), "RUMINT" (a combination of "rumor" and "intelligence"), "gouge," "noise," "scoop," and "SWAG" (acronym derived from Silly Wild Army Guess, though if one is a soldier and not a Marine, the A is usually the colloquial word for donkey).
All this to say, the latest SWAG on my departure is that I need to muster at my unit at 1200 on February 17th. This muster time is approximately 32 hours later than the previous SWAG, which is a good thing (in my opinion).

Semper Fi, Jon G.

SOP on how to Comment

Thanks to my brother in law, Sonny, for the following Standard Operating Procedures regarding how to submit your comments to this blog:
"Jon set up the blog so it would not allow for annonymous posting (and spam): a good thing. You will NEED to sign up for an account, here's what you do. Go to Jon's blog and try to leave a comment. On the next screen (don't actually write a comment this time) you'll see a screen that asks for your user name and password. Since you don't have one yet, you'll need to choose "Sign Up Here". Click that.
On the next screen, near the top, you'll see 3 steps you have to go through 1) Create Account, 2) Name Blog and 3) Choose Template. I'm going to walk you through these steps EVEN if you don't want to create your own BLOG. Your goal here is to create an ACCOUNT so that you can post comments, even if you don't ever want to write your own blog. In the (Step 1) "Create Account" section fill everything out properly. Choose a user name (must be unique) and a password that you can remember. Under "Display Name" choose something you want people to see (i.e. Sonny Portacio). Give an email address and check the box that says that you agree to terms of service. Click "continue".
On the next screen (Step 2), you can put ALL fake stuff here if you want. I typed in random numbers and moved on. Since you aren't creating are real blog anyhow, it doesn't matter. If you DO want to create a real blog, sometime, you can change the info, so again, it doesn't matter. Go with the random numbers. Do the word verification thing and then click "Continue".
On the last (Step 3) screen choose a template. Since you're not really creating a blog, it doesn't matter, if you do want a real blog someday you can change it, so again, it doesn't matter. I picked one at random and then clicked "Continue". It will create your "blog". On the next screen click "start posting". You're DONE! (Unless you REALLY want to post to this new blog you've created).
You can close this window and get back to Jon's blog. From now on when you try to leave a comment for Jon, you'll be asked for your user name (which you'll have) and your password (which you'll have). TA DA!"
Hope people will find this useful.

Semper Fi, Jon G.

Invigorate the Mundane

Yesterday I decided to arrive late to work in order to take my son to school one last time. I have looked on family related tasks like this (that intrude on my schedule) as chores, and put them on the list of things to be generally avoided when reasonably possible.
However, my pending long-term seperation from my family (I'm guessing) changed my perspective dramatically. I so enjoyed the drive to school, the walk to the school yard with my son, and the "normal" interaction waiting for the school bell to ring, that I've decided to arrive at work late EVERY day until I leave so I can take my son to school. There are immediate consequences, of course--I'll have to work through lunch, or a little later in the day--but immediate benefits (mostly intangible but immensely more important) as well.
By the way, thanks to all those who are praying for me and my family, and for your encouraging posts to this blog and in other ways. As you can see, I'm already being blessed because of you.

Semper Fi, Jon G.

WOPA

Thanks to some fellow Chief Warrant Officers, yesterday's misunderstanding became a non-issue. This is known as the Warrant Officer Protection Agency (WOPA), which of course is not a real organization--more like a positive remaining vestige of the ol' boy network. A Chief Warrant Officer 4 in my shop forwarded the product request to a Chief Warrant Officer 3 he knows of in another shop who can develop this kind of product, and it looks like the requesting officer will eventually get what he requested. In the meantime, all involved are now aware of the correct way to request that specific product. This is getting the job done, accomplishing the mission, and supporting Marines forward--even if a couple of back channels had to be utilized vice the formal established process (of which, obviously, everyone had not been informed). When all is said and done, I'd rather be the hand that contributes to the solution instead of the hand that points the finger.

Semper Fi, Jon G.

Others are leading the way

About ten days ago, the first party from my section were deployed--and today, the second party left. In less than two weeks, I'm scheduled to depart as well. However, the first party is already there, setting things up and formalizing our presence there, and their diligence in establishing a daily routine, as well as organizing billeting, messing, and many other mundane issues will make our ability to roll up and fall in on an established protocol for daily operations much easier.
In the meantime, I am embroiled in a misunderstanding. Last week an officer came into our shop asking for a product. I informed him that we did not have the capability or the charter to produce that type of thing, mentioned a process through which he could obtain the product, told him I'd be happy to try to track down a few options for him, and I'd get back to him. Well, today the officer showed up demanding a product, saying I had promised it to him. My mistake was in not getting back to him in a timely manner. His mistake, I believe, was in hearing what he wanted to hear (the part where I said I'd help), to the exclusion of everything else I said. My first reaction was self-righteous indignation--how am I responsible for his false assumptions, especially when I specifically negated those assumption at our initial conversation? After sitting with the situation for awhile, I'm willing to concede that the officer is probably under a lot of pressure from his own chain of command to deliver a product, was probably directed to our shop as a place where it might get done, and when informed that I'd help, felt that the ball was now in my court. Ultimately, my role here is to be a part of getting the product to the people who need it, not playing turf games with middlemen. This officer and I are part of the same team.
I'll keep you posted as to whether or not we are able to develop the product...

Semper Fi, Jon G.

Preparing for deployment

My brother in law Sonny recommended a blog as a way to connect with folks while I am deployed. Though I will be unable to personally email all who want to stay in touch with me, Sheryl will maintain this blog--and I will be able to "see" it. Sheryl can post updates that she recieves from me, keep all of you informed, and not have to send out multiple emails to multiple lists in order to accomplish the same. You are able to dirctly comment or post to the blog in the same way.
Right now, I am in the preparation phase, as my departure date is about two weeks away. I'll keep you posted until I leave, and then Sheryl will keep you posted by proxy--or I will directly post to the blog.

Semper Fi, Jon G.